Welcome
A very warm welcome to Reset Counselling Services. You likely landed here because you are dealing with challenges that negatively impact on your life and you want to live with more ease and less pain. You may be seeking a compassionate, nonjudgmental, truly listening ear, the life you want may seem out of reach or the ways in which you have tried to cope with your challenges are not really working and you are at a loss for what to do.
I am passionate about coming alongside you and building a therapeutic relationship/collaboration with you that is safe, honest and generous and that offers hope, possibility, strong advocacy and more ease in life. As a counsellor I am strength-based, trauma-informed and client-centred. We talk at your pace about what you need to talk about. I not only seek to understand the issues you bring, but I also seek to see these issues through your eyes and to meet the unique human being that you are without judgment, prejudice or assumptions, so we look in the same direction. Only by seeing through your eyes can we find the way forward that’s right for you. I believe you are the expert on you and by learning from you about you I will learn what is helpful for you so that you can go on to live with more ease and more spring in your step.
I am often in awe of the strength of the human spirit and people’s ability to overcome or live with adversity. For over a decade I have come alongside people from all walks of life who live with traumatic grief and loss. I have sat with people who deal with terminal illness, alcohol and other drugs dependencies and with not having a home. I have been inspired by people rebuilding their lives around their grief, by people who truly lived with their physical limitations and with the end in sight, and by people who kept going despite the odds being stacked against them. I will never forget the first time someone told me they had finally booked a holiday again; it told me they were picking up life again after losing someone very dear.
Deciding to support yourself and finding the right counsellor is a major and empowering step forward, and probably the most important gift you can give yourself right now. You don’t need to walk this path alone. Let’s look in the same direction. Please contact me via the contact form or just simply call/text/email me, and we will arrange a free brief consultation to explore how we might work together. I look forward to connecting with you.
About me
Berni
Palings
Counsellor
Ever since my very first memory my life has always evolved around two passions: people and music.
As a school leaver, I contemplated a future either in music or in social work. I chose the first. All my life I had embraced music in a very natural manner, and much later, many years after obtaining my music degree, I decided to channel my interest in people into my study in counselling. The profound connection between the two became clear to me only well after finishing my counselling degree. It felt like a significant full-circle moment.
For me, music adds to the understanding of the expression and perception of human experience and to the understanding of what happens in counselling. Both in music and counselling communication is essential. In both, you listen and you speak. When you give a piece of music to ten musicians to play, each musician brings to the music their own personality, background, training, resources. No two versions are exactly the same. This is also the case with human experiences. If ten people experience the same event, they each experience it in their very own, uniquely manner, rooted in their personality, relationship, background, resources. No two experiences are identical, but all ten are truthful. Both in music and in counselling, the person in front of you and their individual story are what matters. Being present to really hear that story is where counselling starts.
In addition to over a decade of coming alongside individuals and families experiencing traumatic grief and loss due to homicide, I have sat with many people in other distress. I have been truly humbled by my experiences over many years with the Queensland AIDS Council. Supporting their clients was very humbling; when so many outer layers are stripped away or become insignificant you get to meet the pure human in front of you without the mask, and it is a true privilege to be allowed in and walk with them. I treasure my time with Drug Arm, too. Supporting clients struggling with alcohol and other drugs, often in combination with mental health issues, and supporting Significant Others gave me the opportunity to practice real nonjudgmentality and to be at the start of positive change in people. My insightfulness as a counsellor has also grown by my many years of involvement with our homeless community and the complexity of issues that lead to homelessness and that makes it so very difficult to get out of. At the core are issues that we all grapple with: self-worth, inclusion, dignity, respect, acceptance, hope. I am passionate about holding space for my clients so that they can safely express their individual story, and I will always be deeply grateful for the openness and vulnerable honesty of my clients. They are my teachers, and I take each and every experience with me into my current practice.
Whichever the reasons may be why you come to work with me, I am here, completely, to hear your individual experience, to sit with you and to figure out together how you may find your way through it all towards your goals. We may identify new ways of coping and of viewing things, we may work towards less pain and distress and towards more peace, healing and empowerment. I am here for you, our sessions are your time to talk about what you have come to share. It is a privilege and a humbling responsibility to assist you, and for that I thank you.
I support you with:
➢ (Traumatic) Grief and Loss
➢ Depression
➢ Anxiety
➢ Death and Dying
➢ Life changes
➢ Stigma
➢ Relationship issues
➢ Self esteem
Services
Life is all encompassing and we are holistic beings; we are not one dimensional but multi-faceted. Our body, mind and spirit live in deep connection and communication with each other. Our challenges and emotional wounds impact on our whole being, but so do our self-care, positive change, shifts and healing. My intention is to identify with you what self-care, positive change, shifts and healing look like for you through safe, intentional conversation so that your whole being can recover and even thrive.
A Client’s Journey
Lucia came to see me looking for ways to better deal with the devastating loss of her son ten months ago as she felt things were getting worse instead of better. She felt out of control due to her anger and hurt and it scared her. She couldn’t control her anger and she couldn’t stop crying once she started, which left her completely drained. She wanted to be in charge of herself again and did not want to lose her mind. She also wanted to be able to focus on her work and to sleep through the night.
During counselling Lucia realised that ever since Cameron’s death she had been avoiding her grief by focusing on her family and going back to work fairly soon. Back to normal. Yearning for the past and for Cameron was useless, right? Lucia presented a strong front to her family and friends and at work because that was easier than really looking inside and expressing what was there. She also didn’t want to make others feel awkward or upset – she found that many people are very uncomfortable around the topics of death, grief and loss; when she brought up her grief in the past it got very quiet or people changed the topic, so she learned not to share anymore. “I’m alright, thank you”, Lucia replied smilingly to queries of how she was doing. Fake it till you make it, right? She learned the hard way that when you don’t allow yourself to grieve, the grief builds up, catches up with you later and hits even harder down the track.
Lucia has learned to accept the pain of her loss. She has accepted that she cannot avoid the grief because it is a part of her life now. And Cameron deserves to be grieved; he was – and is – the son
she loves so much. She understands that it is important to ride the tides as they come and go because avoidance is not helping her. Lucia learned to dedicate a part of each day to Cameron and to her feelings and thoughts about him. She learned to express those feelings and thoughts in writing, and she wrote some really beautiful poems. She created “Cameron’s Corner”, a beautiful little memorial garden inside her garden where she can visit him whenever she wants. She regularly arranges seasonal flowers from her garden to place beside Cameron’s photo. She realised that her relationship with Cameron should not be shunned but nurtured as it always had, and with these rituals she gives Cameron a new presence in her life. It feels right to continue to include him in her life and thoughts, and it makes her feel more “together” for the rest of the day. She is not as angry and exhausted. She is more truly present for others including her loved ones, colleagues and clients. Her relationships improved and she has less nightmares. She has started to reconnect with some friends. She has found her authentic way of dealing with her grief.
Contact Me
Please feel free to simply call, text or email to arrange an appointment:
Phone no: 0422 329 459
Email: info@resetcounsellingservices.com
For new clients, if you are comfortable to do so, please fill out the below contact form prior to making an appointment; it provides space for some information around your reasons for seeking counselling. I will call you shortly for a brief free consultation and if you are comfortable proceeding we will then make our first appointment.
I will talk with you soon and I look forward to connecting.
